4/5/19

I have been so busy this week that I haven't thought about writing anything but school papers.  I had to laugh recently because I asked two graduates to proof one of my papers. Both cringed and said, "I'm having PTSD symptoms right now!"  I have had a couple of people tell me they had no interest in reading any books for a couple of years after graduating with their master's. I cannot imagine not wanting to read a normal mindless book....I long to read some detective mystery novel where the female agent saves the day once again. That's my favorite kind of book.  I love those types of movies too and imagine myself being able to fight men twice my size single-handily and winning.  Such a dreamer I am.

Last night we kept Ailynn and Boe while Meghan and Kirk went on a date.  Ollie went to the Little Mermaid play with her grandma Jane.  We enjoyed the two littles.  Ailynn said, "Have a good date with your husband, Mom!"  When they returned to pick them up she asked, "How was your date" in that cute little three-year-old adorable voice.  I'm so thankful they live up here again and we get to see them often.

Today I went to the Alaska Native Heritage Center with Set Free Alaska- where I am doing my practicum placement.  We had an amazing time as a large group. We were all treated to lunch at Olive Garden beforehand.  Set Free is an incredible God fearing and loving agency and I have had the most wonderful practicum I could ever have there.  I have learned how to communicate with women who have drug and alcohol conditions by showing them love and acceptance while providing psychoeducational training.  I am happy to learn that there are plans to open a men's treatment center in Homer later this year.  While I am sad that there is a need for more treatment centers, I am delighted that faith-based options are available to men and women who need the treatment.

I am happy to be alive and I am thankful and grateful that I have this life to live.

4/8/19

Last night was a fundraiser for a five-year-old child who has a rare disease that only a bone marrow transplant can cure. He has a cord blood match from Sweden. It was amazing to see the community come out in droves to support this little guy. While there, I got to meet a young man who will also be having a transplant- he has aplastic anemia. There is no shortage of people having transplants.

I had x-rays of my left shoulder today. I’ve been in a lot of pain and don't have a full range of motion. I was thrilled to hear it’s not a rotator cuff issue. I have bicipital tendinitis and an impingement. We will work on that during occupational therapy. The doctor would like to use cortisone injections but adrenal insufficiency and high blood sugars don’t sound good to me. I see my endocrinologist next week and will ask him what he thinks. 

My conjunctivitis is back and my cough is worse. I’m losing my voice as well. I’m not sure what is going on but I don’t like it. Hopefully, I get better very soon. I’m about fed up with going to the doctor all the time. Thank you, God, for another day.

4/13/19

We got to our happy place on Thursday evening, our sweet and wonderful cabin that flooded my mind with comforting memories while I was in the hospital.  The place I longed to be at and was unsure if I would ever see again.  I am thankful that God has brought me back to this little piece of Heaven on earth.  Our cabin is nothing fancy, but we built it (mostly Patrick did, but I-and others-helped) and it is ours.  It's funny to think how much a little dream can mean when the dream is realized and comes true.  We have always loved the Kenai Peninsula and we spent many weekends down here in the summer when our kids were small.  We had an old 5th wheel that we bought for $1500 and we parked it at a campground in Anchor Point.  The same people were there each weekend- people that Patrick knew through his work.  We treasure those memories.  Logan didn't get to camp with us in Anchor Point as we began that after his death. But Logan spent so much time in Homer with his grandparents on the boat they later named, "The Logan J."  My parents spent time with their good friends Barney and Anita and they watched Logan have the most ultimate experience each weekend with his grandparents.  Logan was like his dad is- he loves to fish. He lived and breathed fishing and he was quite good at it.  It was a healthy and delightful passion for him. My heart always hurts a bit when I remember him in his waders and think about the last fish he caught. Thankfully, that fish is mounted and hanging on our wall at home.  We miss you, buddy.

Last night I was part of a group of nine authors who were invited to share a bit about our books and why we decided to write, at the Ninilchik Community Center.  There were approximately 30 people in attendance with several of them being teens.  The group that hosted us were very warm and welcoming.  I was able to share a bit of my story without choking up too much.  Public speaking is not my favorite thing to do, but I must do more of it so I can share Logan's story and the story of how God has seen me through the worst of life and has comforted me throughout the process. I want people to know that there is hope for a brighter future and peace and pain can coexist.  I can still feel pain while feeling peaceful because I know Logan is safe and happy in Heaven even while I miss him terribly here on earth.

My cough has not improved so much and my eye is still gross matted.  I continue to feel like a walking disaster as I don't walk so well because of my hip issues.  I still have hope that someday I can be semi-normal. I think I can.... I think I can......Patrick's foot is slowly healing but he is still unable to walk on it.  We are quite a pair. I told Meghan she's getting a glimpse into what it's like to have elderly parents!  She wants us to bring all three girls to the cabin for a weekend and I cautioned her it may be best after Papa can chase them around as Grammie certainly can't do much chasing. I want to chase those baby girls!

4/15/19

We arrived back home yesterday- a day early due to a family crisis of sorts. Things are okay at the moment and we are thankful. I was able to get more school work done here at home on m PC which was good. I was up till about 0100 this morning.  It's after 11 PM now and I just finished a paper. I shouldn't say, "finished" as I still need to have it peer reviewed. I also like to print papers out as I tend to catch more errors reading it out loud while it's in my hands. I'm not sure why that is.  Tomorrow morning I have an online meeting with two classmates to discuss another paper- a group case study paper.  I have the job of combining all the writing and doing the final editing.  Then I have two more papers to write and I am done. Well, I still have a couple of final tests and maybe even a couple more quizzes. THEN I am done for the semester- hallelujah! On the last day of class, I fly to Minnesota for my Mayo check-up. I plan to spend those three nights reading books for enjoyment and not to learn anything!

The girls stopped over today with their mother. I promised them all that I will dedicate my three weeks off of school to them. I will play games and take them to the cabin with us- even the baby. Meghan reminded me that she wants to wean Boe so she wants us to take her for the weekend. I hope Patrick's foot is better as he's better at running after them. They went to visit my parents before they came to see me. It was the first time since December they had seen the girls. I'm sure everyone was happy to be together. Meg planned to go see Granny after she left here. I'm glad our family lives so close to one another.

I have two doctor appointments tomorrow which I am squeezing in between writing papers.  Wednesday I will be driving into Anchorage to participate in a reentry simulation for prisoners. It will be a good prep before my practicum with the prisoner reentry program this fall. I really like social work!